Royally Screwed
by HolyColonoscopy
Summary: Prince Light was kidnapped after a bandit mishap, by none other then L and his Bandits of awesomeness. Light must now stay with L until he brings Light home..If he ever does. LXLIGHT yaoi. !BEING REWRITTEN!
1. One Messed Up Ball

**Okay before you read, let me say this is a LxLight so Lights uke and it might be a MelloxNear or MattxNear I haven`t decided so you can help me with that if you want. I accept all reviews.**

**Full Summary: Light's a Prince and at a Royal Ball held at his Castle and was suddenly kidnapped after being harassed by some drunken guy. Who was he kidnapped by? None other than L's bandits of awesomeness! Oh and they actually wanted Princess Naomi but Aiber was drunk and messed up, badly. So now Light is stuck with them until L takes him home...If he takes him home.**

**Word Count: 1681**

**Main Characters: L, Light, Near, Matt, Mello, Misa, Mikami, Aiber, Wedy, Soichiro and that`s it for this chappy.**

**Please R&R**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THE PLOT AND MY OC`S**

-xxxXXXxxx-

_Chapter One_

Prince Light stood beside is father, King Soichiro who was about to announce who was supposed to show up at the Royal ball, God he hated these things, so many annoyances like all the women walking up to him and trying to flirt with him. Light won't deny it, he's down right sexy but that doesn't mean he likes it when women and some men come up and just annoy the living fuck out of him. "Attending our event is Kingdom Hinrey, Kingdom..." King Soichiro squinted "Kingdom M- Moeth," A burst of small giggling filled the crowd and a small smirk smeared Light's features, in slight immaturity as his father rolled his brown eyes. "As I was saying we also have Kingdom..." Light stopped listening to his father rambled about things that didn't matter to him and just stared off in space. He was so bored with life and it was for one main reason. He was intelligent. Things I life for Light just weren't a challenge and he got bored from conversations with people because they weren't intelligent enough.

"Now enjoy your time here!" Light's father finished, sitting down in his throne, as he sat he leaned over "Light, son" He started "I want you to go talk with some people for a while; we need to make connections you know?" Light gazed at him "Yes father," Light walked down the small set of stairs and forced a smile on his smooth features. Greeting anyone who deemed important as the Prince made his way through the crowd of nobles, he fixed his neat auburn hair as he made his way to Princess Naomi and Princess Takada who we're discussing something that Light probably didn't care about.

"Hello Princess Naomi, Princess Takada," Light greeted, bowing slightly and kissing both of their hands.

"Prince Light, hello," They said in unison, curtsying their dresses, Takada's girdle stood out like a sore thumb even though it was small against Naomi's purple dress that flowed smoothly down her legs, she had always been deemed more elegant then most. Out of the two of them, Light seemed to like Naomi more, just because she had to be one of the smartest people at that ball, and she was attractive too. Takada on the other hand was sophisticated too and attractive but every time Light saw Takada with a man and someone like Halle tried to talk to "Takada's man" Takada would get rather defensive in her own way but Light could tell she could and would start a little cat fight if she felt necessary so if Light had to choose a wife to court it would have to be Naomi or Halle but he never saw himself compatible with women, just to damn needy, not that he was gay, he just could not love a woman. "How are you lovely ladies tonight?"

"Great, thanks for asking," Naomi smiled. Takada giggled slightly, "Oh Light, I am amazing," Light smiled but mentally rolled his chocolate eyes, my lord Light couldn't wait till it was over, she was trying to get him to court her, and he wasn't going to.

"Hey babe," A man slurred, sauntering over to Light, and putting his hands around his waist

"What the fu-," Light started

We'll leave you two alone," Naomi said, smirking and giggling dragging away a confused Takada

"Hey...Hey! No! Come ba... Get off of me! Cease this!" Light demanded, squirming and struggling in the tan arms of his captor as everyone just watched, them now being the center of attention. "Get this man off of me!" Light yelled and a couple of guards ran over to him, prying the drunken man off. "Get him out of my castle," Light's father said, pointing to the big double doors at the end; the guards followed their orders, taking the blonde man out. "Light, are you alright?" King Soichiro asked, looking at his son "Yeah I just need some time alone," The Prince answered, walking up a set of stairs and out to a balcony.

Light heard laughing, dancing, and music as the breeze ruffled his soft, long, auburn hair. He could have anything, any woman, man, absolutely anything with the amount of money he has, yet he was bored out of his mind. No one or nothing could satisfy him, he was to... high maintenance? No, more like, to demanding. He sighed, closing his eyes, his eyelashes brushing his smooth cheek bones.

Light was standing there for about five minutes before snapping open his chocolate eyes from the quiet foot steps behind him. The Prince turned around to a bag put over his head, and then he was picked up and thrown over the balcony and onto a blanket. Next thing he knew he was tied up and thrown into the back of a cart, then it all went black.

-xxXXxx-

"I said Princess Naomi, not Prince Light, not only did you mess up the Kingdom, you mess up the gender, Aiber, explain yourself," Is what Light woke up to, the voice was low and kind of exotic. The Prince's heads was throbbing, as he opened his head to nearly blinding light, he would have shielded his eyes, but they were tied behind his back.

"Well L you see, they had this awesome red wine there and I thought a glass wouldn't hurt and a glass turned into two glasses then three and well the Prince looks like a woman when your drunk," Light huffed slightly after hearing that, honestly how do you mess up kidnapping someone and he does not look like a woman!

"Well I guess we could always take advantage of this and get some money for em, eh guys?" a blonde said, who had a deep voice but was very feminine munching in a chocolate bar

"Mello, we're have way across the country, we'll need to get back, and for that we'll need to make a trade with Liam for more horses and another carriage, this loot is too much for the other one," a thin albino mentioned

"I was still hung-over, how did we get that gold and jewellery?" Said the stupid jerk Aiber that got him into this mess

"Well you fool, we just walked over to the neighbouring Kingdom and looted the shit out of them and walked back to the base, but you we're too passed out and vomiting to know that," A blonde woman said, she was wearing mostly black, skin tight clothes, Light wasn't sure of the fabric. Light's eyes drifted around we're he was residing, or being held for a better manner of speaking. "Oh, it appears our guest as awoken," A raven haired man commented, he had a loose white fitting undershirt, deep blue pants, and no shoes. Light looked at the man with his chocolate brown eyes in disgust "Where am I?" the Prince demanded

"You are at our base,"

"I demand that you return me to my people at once!" The man dubbed as "L" gave him a small questioning look

"Not with that attitude," Light gawked at him

"How dare you! My father will find me and you will be executed the moment we get back to my Kingdom!" He yelled

"Sorry, but I can't do that, we're have way across the country and we are in dire need of supplies, making that trip would be suicide,"

"I don't get it, if you didn't want me then why didn't you return me as soon as you figured out it wasn't who you wanted?"

"I thought Aiber could handle such a simple task," L said, looking at Aiber, who just shrugged and went back to hitting on Wedy, who ignored him.

"Well, I think he's cute and we should keep him," A bubbling looking blonde suggested, she was wearing a black, small ruffled dress with cross bones at the end of some ruffles. She also had fish netted tights and some made to go around her arms, the cross bones we're jewel incrusted.

"Misa, remember what happened the last time we let you keep a pet?" a red head said, chewing on something

"Matt, I promise this one won't end up like him," Matt paused and just looked at her

"He was a filthy mess, you never fed him, he smelled like shit despite being soaked, and he had slash wounds all over him, no we need the _Prince_," Light looked at Misa and Matt and horror

"Hey! No! You're not hurting Prince Light," a man with black hair said

"Aw, Mikami have a little crush?" Misa huffed

"No he's sexy and you're not touching him," Mikami responded, this leading to a huge argument over who had more pets and who should get this one.

"My God they do this every single time we get a new prisoner," Wedy stated, looking at the bickering two.

"What are you guys?" Light asked, noticing the swords and some small firearms.

"Bandits," _Fucking Peachy, just fucking peachy, I was kidnapped by a drunk stupid bandit,_ Light thought

"I SAID HE'S MINE YOU DUMB WHORE!" Mikami yelled

"Actually people," L started, getting the attention of his crew "He's mine,"

-xxxXXXxxx-

**Sooooo, not my best work but I think I did well considering it was my first AU, now this fic will continue running if I get some reviews I guess just like, 4 or something. And I'm not very factual so I'm up for suggestions about more detail and better facts on this time line I guess. PLEASE REVIEW ^-^**


	2. Sulking and Creepy People

**I likes teh reviews I got, it be teh awesome! Anyways I might be able to get my sister to beta this story but she probably won`t cause she's a LightxL fan not a LxLight fan. By the way I have no idea how long this is going to be or what's actually going to happen unless I get an idea for a chapter cause I can't, won't and hate planning so if ya got suggestions I'm open. OKAY NOW LET`S GO!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except the plot and my OC`s**

**P.S: Lots of swearing in this one guys. Well I think anyways, you might not.**

-xxxXXXxxx-

The all the heads in the room swivelled into L`s direction, most in confusion and some in annoyance...But most in confusion. "But L! I wanted this pet! You never want pets!" Misa squealed only to get an added "Yeah!" From Mikami

"Sorry Misa, Mikami. Now I want Aiber and Matt to set a room for our lovely guest and Misa you are not allowed in there no matter the circumstances," The slouched raven haired man demanded, walking over to Light, pulling him up and dragging him off by a long rope attached to his neck. "Pardon me," Light started "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" He screamed, L didn't even wince at it; he merely kept walking "I am taking you to our dining hall, why? You don't want to eat?" The bandit asked, Light blinked, food? He hadn't had food, in about what? A week, man was he really out for that long? Next thing the auburn haired Prince knew he was seated at a cushioned chair as L, he's captor, set a piece of chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and took a fork and tried to feed him, but Light swerved his head away from it. "What's wrong?" L asked

"I hate sweets," L blinked, hate sweets, he loved them! It was all he ate! L brought he free hand to Light's ribs

"What are you do-" Light was cut off by his own laughter as L tickled him thus his mouth opening. L shoved the sweet cake into his mouth and Light snapped his mouth shut as L took back the fork

"Chew, now or I will not let your jaw go," As L said, he now had a vigorous hold on Light's tan jaw, holding it shut, but just enough for Light to chew. Light obliged but not without a sour face on, glaring at the un-kept bandit. At that point Light actually decided to notice and take in the details his captor. L had jet black, greasy, messy looking hair, pale as a fucking ghost, dull grey doe eyes that had a small hint of amusement in them, he was rather skinny to, looking delicate as a twig, but despite all this Light couldn't help but find him attractive, not that he would ever admit to it. "Good boy, see I knew we would get along great," L commented, piling another fork full of cake into Light's mouth.

Mello watched as Mikami sat in a corner, sulking which was strange for him, but he could get like this when nothing went his way, like just a while ago, Misa "accidentally" spilled the boiling hot stew on him, and we'll she's a ditz and you can't trust her with counting the fucking pennies, anyways Mikami's schedule got messed up cause he needed two showers and he's a totally bitch when it comes to organization and you'd probably be a little bit of a whore when you get boiling shit on you. Misa on the other hand was smiling like one of those creepy smiling cat china dolls you know they look all delicate and shit, and their really fucking creepy, you know what never mind it's not important, anyways Mello could only assume she was plotting her way to get her new pet. Scanning the room, he saw Near, a white covered albino, like really, white clothes, white hair, ghostly skin, grey eyes, and this dead look on his face all the fucking time! Like really he just pissed Mello off no matter what he did! Like this one time for Mello's birthday, Near made him a special chocolate rosary, cause he always wore one, but that's a story for another time, anyways Mello grabbed, pushed him out of the way and shoved the chocolate into his mouth, and for Near's birthday he got him nothing. Near was sitting in his odd fashion, cooped up on a chair, one leg dangling off, the other folded beside him on the chair, twirling a lock of his snowy white hair as he always does counting there latest steal of gold and estimating the worth of the jewellery. Near was a genius, much like most of the people here, save Misa, Aiber, and Wedy, sure Aiber and Wedy were average IQ but Misa was as dumb as a sack of bricks, anyways, Near usually went on some missions that involved stealth...sometimes, he also made plans, counted money, kept track of what they needed, stuff like that, he along with L did a lot of stuff that you needed a lot of intellect for, not that he or Matt didn't have that, it's just Mello just wasn't thrilled by that stuff or cared for it much. Mello was so tired after just watching these idiots (not really) do stupid things so he was going to do something entertaining and probably really stupid, like try to see if he could kill Misa or something with a spoon, he probably could, he was creative like that, well time for stupidity with his best friend Matt!

"Light, you'll be slee-" _BANG! _"Sorry I must attend something, make yourself at home," L ran off after rambling a bit to Light, who just blinked in confusion. "Alrighy then," Light said as he took in his surroundings, there was a huge bed with curtains coming from the ceiling, a dresser opposite it, a chest sitting at the foot of his bed, a couple of mirrors around the room, and lastly a desk off to the right of the bed. The captured Prince walked over to the dresser and opened it to find silk purple nightclothes. Is he in the right place? This is very extravagant for a prisoner. Shrugging, Light started to undress, but decided to check himself out a bit, looking in the mirror, damn he was sexy...he was very ego-centric too for that matter. Light got into the nightwear and climbed into bed, blowing out the candle at the desk first.

Light's eyes popped open as a candle drifted towards his face. Stunned with fear, Light saw a small glimpse of the creepy person that was nearing him. They had blonde hair and were wearing a lot of black, but what gave it away was a little shine of silver dangling in the Light. "Get away from me! You're the one that wanted me as a pet!" He screamed at Misa

"So? And you will be my pet!" She squealed, huge smile on her face, still so bubbly even though she was trying to kidnap someone how was already kidnapped.

"Misa," Said a dark voice "What did I say?" This cause Misa to freeze in her spot.

"Uh, um, hi?" She stuttered

"Misa,"

"Yes L?"

"Get out,"

"Yes L," Misa trailed out of the room, sulking like a child crossing her arms.

"Sorry about that Light, she gets like this a lot," L said, stepping from the darkness.

"Y- You were hiding there!" Light gapped

"I needed to keep an eye on you, now that Misa had come, she won't be back for about another three days, Mikami will spend more time sulking then he might try to get what he wants,"

"So you'll leave and stop watching me sleep?"

"Yes," Light paused

"Then get out," Light deadpanned, pointing to the door.

"Of course, but don't expect me to listen to your every word now, this won't be like at your precious Kingdom," The lead bandit finished, walking out of the room with his trade-mark slouch. Light waited about a minute then flopped back onto his soft pillow, sighing and falling back asleep.

Mello watched from the corner of the hallway as Misa sulked out of Light's room. _She's pathetic, she spent all day thinking of that "awesome" plan? Well she is an idiot, its expected from her_ Mello thought sauntering off to his room. As he was walking he saw Near and Matt talking, he was hard to talk to Near, but they we're probably just talking about business. "Matt, I think you can sleep in your own room now,"

"Near! Please! One more night! I promise!"

"No,"

"Please!" Mello heard a pause

"Fine, last night," Mello's eyes widened, was his best friend getting it on with his enemy! Mello must play detective to find out! The blonde genius sneaked back to his own room and started to think on his options.

-xxxXXXxxx-

**Is Matt getting it on with Near? You'll just have to find out but it's not what it seems...hehehehe. Oh and sorry if it was short, wanted to update as fast as possible and I'm having a bit of a block, no idea when the next will be up. L'S A FUCKING CREEP! ^-^**


	3. TEH TRUTH IS REVEALED!

**Ummm, first I would like to say I am deeply sorry about not updating for like, what over a month? I got grounded for like two weeks and then I had a major writers block, so now I am updating. Once again, no planning what so ever, so no idea how long this is and I only have a vague idea of whats going to happen next.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the plot and my OC's**

**ON WITH TEH STORY!**

**-xxxXXXxxx-**

King Soichiro was not a happy camper. His Kingdom had been infiltrated during an important ball, his wife got drunk and thought it would be nice to talk about how crappy their sex life was, and his son got kidnapped all in one night. Now that was shitty. Oh and he obviously needed new guards if people can just waltz right up to his son and kidnap him, like honestly! How the fuck does that happen? Now he was stressing over that fact that Light could be, A- being held for ransom, B- being rapped, or C- dead. Yeah this is how a father wants to spend his mornings. The Revnera King had his head in his hands as a man with silver armour on walked up no him, gave a quick bow, then looked at the depressed king.

"Mi-lord, we have dispatched teams through out the country, and neighbouring Kingdoms have agreed to search the area for Prince Light, is their anything else we can do?" He asked

"No, Alexander, that is all,"

"Yes Mi-lord," The man, now known as Alexander, gave another bow before retreating back to his paperwork. The king let out a sigh, what was he going to do?

-xxxXXXxxx-

Princess Sayu sat on her pink and white bed, tears streaming down her beautiful face. She wanted her dear brother back, and she would do anything for him. But she was only a fourteen year old girl, how could she get Light back. The brunette princess rested her head to to her fluffy pillow, wracking her brain for ideas, she had never been as smart as Light, who was the brains of the family. I bet if she was kidnapped Light would have saved her already. Tears flowed down her face as sobs fell from her lips. Sayu sat up on her huge bed, no she would not cry, she would get Light back if she had to find him herself, yes! That's what she would do! Sayu ran to her dresser, grabbed the small tanned bag beside it and shoved some old, but nice clothes, not her dresses but some pants and shirts to make herself look like a peasant. She changed into some dark brown pants, a white baggy button up shirt, some tan boots and tied her brown hair up into a high ponytail with a red silk ribbon. She went into her bottom drawer, to took and a short, sheathed knife and a pink silk bag that had gold coins in it. Sayu un-sheathed the knife, it was still sharp, she had gotten it from Prince Rester as a birthday gift when she turned thirteen, I guess he thought that it might come in handy some time. Sayu didn't know if she would be able to use it, but it was better to have it rather then need it and not have it. Shoving her stuff in hr bag she wiped her big brown eyes from tears and went out the door. Slinging the backpack over her shoulder, she ran down the stairs only to be stopped by a servant.

"Now Princess Sayu, were are you going?"

"I was going to plant some flowers in the garden so when we get Light back, I have some pretty flowers to give him," She stated quietly

"But we have flowers already planted for the Prince,"

"Yeah but not lilies, Light loves lilies, and I think it's better if I go through and do it myself,"

"Okay, but don't stay out to late,"

"Don't worry, I won't" Sayu gave a small smile and raced back down the stairs to the kitchen, sneaking in, she grabbed a canteen and filled it with water and the grabbed some bread and fruit. This much food should last her about a couple days, just long enough to get her to the third village away from their Kingdom. Lastly she slid into her parents bedroom, went to their night stand and pulled out a map, so she would you know NOT get lost. Dashing out to the stables, she ran over to her horse, Sunlight, she named her that because Light names his Moonlight and she thought it would be cool. Saddling her golden horse, she hopped on and rode off though a broken gate near the back that only she a Light knew about, they played there all the time when they we're little. Sayu and Sunlight dashed into the forest, heading around the Kingdom and onto a dirt road.

-xxxXXXxxx-

Light groaned as he lifted his head which felt like it weighed fifty pounds. Groggily opening his hazel eyes, he looked around he room. The tired prince hadn't gotten much sleep last night in fear of being rapped by Misa or worse, maybe Mikami, he shuddered at the thought. Light was not a pet dammit! Sitting up he scratched his head and looked around for his clothes. Changing into the lovely clothes he wore yesterday (which he did not like one bit) he started looking for a window.

"Ah ha!" Light whispered, walking over to a window which was un-locked and opened to be greeted with a rush of warm air and just as he was about to step out..

"Well Light, I hope you weren't trying to leave our happy home here?" A low husky voice called, Light jumped, shit! He didn't even hear that panda bandit come in! Who knew he could be stealthy. Turing around with a deep frown, Light looked at L.

"Now come on Light, lets go have breakfast," L took a hold of Light's smooth hand and dragged him to the dinning hall.

"We're not having cake again are we?" Light asked hopefully

"Nope," Light sighed in relief "We're having pie and ice cream!"

"Oh joy, I can barley contain my excitement," The prince said sarcasticly

"I knew you would love pie," The brunette rolled his eyes

After being seated, Light took in his surroundings, he never really got a good look at the place. The dinning hall had deep crimson walls with long gold and red drapes at every long window, despite the windows length not much light was getting in. The floor was a dark brown wood and a red and gold carpet that matched the drapes. Exquisite pictures lined the walls while marble statues were places around the long hall. In the middle was a red wooden dinning table with at least six chairs going down and two at the end. The chairs had dark red cushioning on them and the wood was also red wood. Plates and silverware we're already placed on the table along with place mats, candles, and a vase of red roses in the middle. After about two minutes, L had returned to the table, carrying, like he said, pie, ice-cream and also tea.

"Am I really having tea and pie for breakfast?" Questioned Light

"And ice-cream,"

"Yeah, and ice-cream," Light said unhappily as he shoved his fork into the apple pie, apple sauce dripping out of the now mutilated pie.

"Light-kun! Your wasting perfectly good pie!" L whined in a monotone voice.

"Sorry for not caring for such distasteful food," Light watched in amusement as L held his fork with two fingers and cut into one of his four plates of pie then shoving a huge piece into his pale face.

"Is there something on my face?" L asked, noticing Light's attempt to smuggle his laughter

"No, it just that you eat in such an odd way, it's funny," L paused

"Oh," And then the raven haired bandit took and sip of his tea, then another mouth-ful of pie. Light noticed he was chatting with his captor like he would his best friend, it was just hard not to have a decent conversation with this man.

"You going to eat that Light-kun?" L asked, pointing to his pie.

"No," L grabbed Light's un-touched plate, save the pie mutilation and ate it quickly. Light looked at L with half amazement, half disgust. How could one man eat so much? He had five plates of this crap!

"Oh Light, I forgot to mention, your coming into town with us, we need to get somethings, nobody will know who you are because of how far north we are," L told him. Great, just peachy, he was going into town with a shit load of bandits to probably rob the place clean, he didn't want to get involved with that kind of stuff! Light opened his mouth to ask if their were going to just steal.

"No, we actually buy things from here, we're to close to the town and if they found out we we're bandits then that would just cause a mess no one needs and we would have to move all our things and find a new base," Light closed his mouth and he frowned, man when are they going to find him?

-xxxXXXxxx-

Mello tapped his fingers on the end table by the sofa, what were Near and Matt talking about last night?

_As he was walking he saw Near and Matt talking, he was hard to talk to Near, but they we're probably just talking about business. _

"_Matt, I think you can sleep in your own room now,"_

"_Near! Please! One more night! I promise!"_

"_No,"_

"_Please!" Mello heard a pause_

"_Fine, last night," Mello's eyes widened, was his best friend getting it on with his enemy! Mello must play detective to find out!_

Aww, hell, he said he was going to play detective but that would be a waste of time, well time to go threaten to beat the shit out of both of them if they don't tell him. Just as Mello stood up Matt and Near walked into the room arguing.

"Just the people I wanted to see," Mello stated "My best friend and my enemy. I heard you guys talking last night! Matt what are you doing sleeping in Near's room!" Near looked at Matt who started moving around anxiously on the spot.

"Matt he's your best friend, he was bound to find out eventually, just tell him," Near said calmly, as he did everything.

"Tell me what! I think I already know!" Matt gulped

"Alright you caught me, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I just thought you would be ashamed of me and not want to be my friend anymore," Matt whispered, he's head hanging.

"I can't believe your fucking Near!" Mello yelled, which caused Matt to raise his head in confusion. Near put his head in his hands and shook his head, Matt on the other hand, burst out into a fit of laughing.

"What's so funny about this!" The furious blonde screamed.

"Y-You think I-I'm fucking Near! That's what's funny!" Matt at this time was laughing so hard, tears were perched at the corners of his eyes.

"You're not?"

"No!" Matt stood up and wiped his eyes, still giggling slightly "I just sleep in there because I have nightmares of my parents some times, I don't even sleep in his bed, I sleep on the floor!"

"Oh,"

"Yes Mello, it was all just a misunderstanding," Near told him

"Then why didn't you come to me?" Mello asked Matt who obviously couldn't stop giggling.

"Matt didn't want you to, as he said, be ashamed of him, so he came to me," The albino said, twirling a lock of his snowy white hair.

"I'm not ashamed. Matt! Never go to Near for anything again! You hear me!" Matt nodded a goofy smile stuck on his face.

"I need to attend to somethings now, good day," Near said in a low but feminine voice, turning around and walking out of the room. Matt slung his arms around Mello's shoulder.

"Let's go get something to eat now man," Matt said with a grin, leading them out of room.

-xxxXXXxxx-

**Well that's it, hope you liked this chapter, still open to chapter ideas causing you know, no planning except for the next chapter. Again sorry bout not updating for a long time. R&R! ^-^**


	4. Little Memories

**ELLO I AM TEH WRITER OF TIS STORY AND HOW IT GOES IS HOW I SAY! I don't even know why i said that...eh whatever. Now I'm doing a girl named zummi16 a nice favour, I'M PUTTING IN A BIT-O MATT/MELLO EVEN THOUGH I DESPISE IT WITH ALL MY HEART! Okay I don't but that's beside the point, the point is is that I have no idea how this shit is going to turn out except it'll be a fluffy hell... and maybe a half naked Matt in another chapter for teh lawlz... MAWHAHAHAHAHA! ... LXLIGHT MEANING LIGHT'S UKE! Anyways LET'S GO ME-MATEYS!**

**(And for the people who read this, I'm so sorry! I had to do this stupid thing called the heritage fair, it has like regionals and provincials and it SUCKED! Plus a bit of a writer block, this chapter might turn out extremely shitty BTW)**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT AND MY OC'S**

**-xxxXXXxxx-**

Light's right eye twitch, he was being dragged to places he didn't know existed in chains AGAIN! Almost tripping over his own feet, he silently wondered if he could kill the raven haired bandit while he slept, hmm, if he put enough thought into it and found the butcher knife he saw in the kitchen earlier... No, he couldn't, even if he did succeeded, he would most likely be raped and killed by Mikami or Misa... Or left gagged and bound in the dark scary ass forest in the dead of night for dead by Mello, yeah, that outcome sounds better then before... No killing L! Wait why not? The image of L lying in a pool of blood made him sick, hmm, he was never one to get sick from blood and guts, he would sometimes sneak into the medical rooms when he was about fourteen because he was bored, a genius and curious he didn't find it disgusting, he actually found himself intrigued by the medical field at that age. So what was it? The Prince's thought were interrupted by a branch in the face cause you know they had to walk through the forest because it just looked odd when you see a guy in exquisite outfit, well slightly wrinkled and muddy, with a bunch of guys wearing mean looking clothes riding around in a cart, you know tends to cause suspicion, especially when the rich looking guys chained up. Light scowled.

"Light-kun, we're almost their, I'm going to un-chain you after Misa and Mikami buy you some clothes, does that sound good?" L said, abruptly stopping causing a certain prince to slam into his back

"No, bring me back home," Light demanded, rubbing his slightly sore head.

"Sorry Light-kun, can't do that. Misa, Mikami, get going and be back in about ten minutes and pick something that won't stand out, we don't need too much attention drawn to us," L paused "That lats statement was for you Misa," Mikami nodded and walked behind Misa who practically skipped her way to the town.

"L, how long do we have to sit here?" Matt asked in a whiny tone

"As long as it takes," Matt frowned and plopped himself down

"Mello! Lets play Go Fish!" Matt suggested, pulling out a worn deck of cards

"No,"

"Ehhh! Why?"

"Because, card games are stupid," Matt pouted

"Fine! Near! Come play with me!" The tiny albino looked at the red-head who had hopeful eyes

"Fine," Near sat down, pulling one leg up to his chest and let the other leg fall down beside him in an awkward angle. As soon as Near sat down, Matt started tossing cards at him, Near just took a lock of his snow white hair and twirled it, a blank expression masking any emotions he might have been having at that moment. Mello on the other hand glared at the little albino while chomping on his chocolate bar.

"Can I help you Mello?" Near asked, not turning his head to look at the other teen

"Yes, you can get the hell away from my best friend you runt, he's mine not yours! I'll play cards with you Matt," Mello snarled, venom in his words

"But Mello, you just said card games where stupid, why did you change you're mind?"

"What I'm not aloud to you stupid sheep!" Mello grabbed the white collar on Near's shirt and dragged him roughly away from the cards and over by a tree

"Mello, why should you get to play?"

"Cause I'm his best friend!" Mello could almost see a small ghost of a smile on Nears pale pink lips

"Oh, okay Mello, I see, you think I'll steal your boyfriend from you. Don't worry about it, he has eyes for you and you alone," At this point Near was standing and walking away from the shocked blonde who's jaw was hung open.

"I- he doesn't! We haven't- AHHH!" Mello stammered with his words, his face going a bit red. Mello's blue eyes narrowed at the small albino who looked slightly amused with himself.

"You little shit! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Mello ran forward for Near who stood and waited

"Mello, no killing Near," L said in his usually flat tone

"Let me kill the damn brat! No ones gunna miss him!"

"No," Mello walked over to Matt and plopped down, sulking as Matt passed out the rest of cards like his relationship with his best friend wasn't just questioned.

Light looked at the three and raised an eyebrow, wow these three we're worse then siblings, jeez.

"They're like sons to me," L spoke up

"Huh?"

"Mello, Matt, and Near. I found them in the woods. They said they had adoptive parents who treated them like slaves so they ran away. Mello's not all mean. Near said that when their adoptive father was beating on him, Mello and Matt would intervene and fight him off, taking a lot of the punches for Near. They we're just kids too. I suppose they we're together for a long time before I took them in," L looked at them. Mello and Matt we're playing cards, Near watching silently. A small smile graced L's lips and Light saw L differently, like a better person, maybe he could grow to like this man.

**-xxxXXXxxx-**

**Yeah sorry about the shortness and all the dialogue, I thought that was a good place to leave off. I hate writing so much dialogue but you know, writers block leaves me with so much. So if people like the whole weird thing between Mello, Near, and Matt I'll continue it. I promise at least five or six pages of writing next chapter and maybe that naked Matt and a very embarrassed Mello xD.**

**THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS! **


	5. How L found His Family

**(!THIS CHAPTER SUCKS BALLS T.T!)**

**So here's another chappy peoples! I now shall tell the story of out adventurers! XD**

**Disclaimer: No profit is made by this SO F-OFF STUPID COPY RIGHTS! T.T**

**LxLight meaning Light's the uke, I mean I've said it in every chapter so I think you all get it now...**

**-xxxXXXxxx-**

"L! We have some clothes here!" Misa chimed, skipping to the mastermind bandit

"What is it?" He asked

"I made her pick out a simple white tunic shirt with brown pants and brown shoes," Mikami informed, looking rather bored with himself. L grabbed the clothes and threw them at Light, who tried to catch all the articles of clothing

"You're not serious? I am not wearing these," Light threw them back

"Yes you are of I have to strip you and force you into them," Light narrowed his brown eyes

"Try it," was said after a long pause. They two just stood in silence as great anticipation built up. L lunged for Light and tackled him on the ground. "Get off me you animal!" Light yelled into L's ear, making him flinch slightly

"Will you put them on?"

"Hell no!" L shrugged and began trying to rip Light's tattered muddy clothes off. The poor victim Light struggled with the raven haired man, wrestling with him in the dirt and grass.

"You know Light, if you just put on the clothes you wouldn't be in this situation right now," L announced who just then managed to rip part of his shirt.

"Fine!" Light pushed L off him and walked into the forest a bit, and hid behind a tree.

Slipping off his clothes and throwing them anywhere, cause you know who would want those clothes anymore, he was rich he could get more. Light looked back at the bandits and then looked at the forest in front of him, the thought of running crossed his mind, but it was quickly passed up, to many flaws in just trying to make a break for it.

-xxx-

L heard Light mumbling things but dismissed it, knowing the prince wasn't stupid enough to run. The un-kept bandit started to do a mental note of what was needed, such as food and some clothes, a bit of bath things, some more toys for Near, maybe more cards for Matt, and chocolate for Mello.

L stared at the rest of his group, or family. Wedy and Aiber where talking alone by a clearing, Misa and Mikami were arguing as usual, and Mello, Matt, and Near where still playing cards, Mello and Near arguing while Matt just sat and listened, but still paying more attention to his game. L smiled slightly, he never had such thing as a family before so he was really happy when he found these people.

He found Aiber and Wedy in a village in the east, both going to arrested for thievery, but L found them and asked if they wanted to become bandits with him, they both agreed on the spot.

Mikami was found in the east too, a couple years after he found his two thieves. Mikami was framed by his wife, saying he kept her like a slave and abused her, L ran into him as Mikami was trying to get away from the town he lived in. Mikami refused when L asked him to come with him because of how dishevelled he looked, L convinced him with his intelligence.

Misa was brought in from the west, when she was working at a brothel as a last resort. She was beaten and abused there and tried to run away. L didn't find her, Aiber did when he was looking for 'fun'. The raven bandit still remembered when he brought a bruised crying girl to their hide out, demanding that she be allowed to stay.

As mentioned before, the three boys where found in a forest in the north-east during the winter. They we're starving, beaten, cold, the youngest, Near very confused and in tears when they we're found. L knew Mello really did care for the little albino because he was cradling the small boy while he cried that night.

At the moment L was done his thinking, Light popped out from the tree, still looking amazing in his 'commoner' clothes, scowl on his tan face.

"Done?" L asked, getting a nod from the auburn haired prince "Lets go then," L walked out of the forest and headed towards the small village, his gang following.

-xxxXXXxxx-

The brown haired girl galloped in her horse, reaching her second town. Sayu decided that the best way of find the people who took her dear brother was to ask if anyone saw anything, the only thing she knew was that Light was taken in a carriage with a tarp over it. The princess jumped of her gold horse, leading her to a bench where two women was standing.

"Excuse me Ma'am," Sayu politely said "Did you see a carriage go by here with a tarp over it by any chance?" One of the women looked at her with green eyes, flicking her blonde hair back in a snobby manner

"Shouldn't little kids be with their parents?" She huffed.

"I'm sorry about my friend, yes I've seen a carriage actually go through the woods about a week ago," The brunette woman said with a sweet smile. Sayu's face brightened

"Do you know which way?" She asked in a quickly

"Ummm, I think they went north," Sayu jumped back on Sunlight

"Thank you so much! Good bye!" Sayu waved charging off

Sayu felt a lot better, it was a small chance but she could ask the next village too the north if they saw anything.

**I'M A BAD PERSON! I PROMISED FIVE PAGES I THINK AND I ONLY GAVE YOU LIKE TWO OR SOMETHING! AND I HAVN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER! IT FEELS LIKE I CAN WRITE EVERYTHING BUT THIS DAMN STORY! I FUCKING FLEW THROUGH MY ESSAY IN SCHOOL! But I will make my self finish this! I swear!**


	6. BB's Potions and Weapons Emporium

** I have absolutely nothing to say about how long its been. Except I'm sorry. I don't know how many people have actually stopped reading this but whatever I guess, my fault. **

** Anyways this from this chapter on, this will be done in a different format. Just saying. Also I realized how horrible my writing used to be! I quickly re-read over my old chapters and I was like 'WTF is this shit!'(I believe my writing has gotten better anyways xD) I though of re-writing but though how much slower everything would take.**

** Okay, lets get this going! This is Chapter Six of Royally Screwed!**

Sayu sighed and she repeatedly hit her head onto the tall tree trunk. She got herself lost in the stupid forest. Stupid forest. The brunette princess didn't even realize she was lost until she checked her map she forgot she had and found she should have been on a road already. Which she wasn't. Stupid map.

She turned around and let her self slip to the dirt ground. Sayu really wasn't liking the dirt right now either. She remember one of her tutors always said something about how to be 'one with nature' because it 'rejuvenates the soul'. Bullshit. All she was was dirty. Stupid tutor.

It was also getting pretty dark out, which was bad. She just should have stayed in that town she passed through. She should have listen to herself. Stupid self.

Suddenly Sayu slapped her self. The brunette stood up and mounted her horse.

'I shouldn't be thinking like this! Negative thinking won't save your big brother!' Sayu thought, galloping forward, her soft chocolate hair whipped behind her. Sayu gripped the reins tighter

'I have to find Light!'

L was happy. Quite happy actually(not that he would show it). He had successfully gotten Light into town without anyone recognizing the prince. The raven haired man doubted anyone would though, they were pretty far from the kingdom.

Him and his group of bandits, along with Light, headed down the familiar dirt path leading to a shop he visited often. The shop, called _BB's Potion and Weapons Emporium _was the best place to go for, well, potions and weapons.

While L didn't have an interest in fake potions, the weapons where good. Now what the shop sign doesn't say is that it specializes in heist information. Which BB did _a lot _of his business in. Not that anyone really knew. L knew that BB only had a few select costumers in that area, such as L and his bandits. BB was also a good friend. In case you're wondering BB stand for Beyond Birthday, though no one really calls him that, way to long, they usually just call him Beyond.

Beyond's heist info was the best in the country. The man could tell you who had what, how to get there, how to get in, and exactly where the loot was. Though Beyond wouldn't tell how he knew all this, so L didn't ask.

The raven haired bandit found in his thinking, he had gotten in front of the shop. L swung the door open and stepped in, hearing the well-known jingle of the door whipping open. The old wooden floor creaked as he stepped inside, everyone following closely behind.

"Costumers?" Someone said, shuffling out from the back. "Ah, L. I was wondering when you would come by again. Would you care to finally buy some of my potions? Or are you just here for the usual?"

The man the came out the back looked a lot like L, save the red eyes, though just as beady. He even had the hunch thing down. Light stared at the L imposter. The prince saw that the shop owner had his hand stuck into a glass jar filled with... jam?

"No Beyond, I will never buy any of your potions. I'm here for a new gun, since Mello somehow broke the last one, some rope, and I wanted some information," L responded.

"Oh, okay well Mello, go grab your gun. Matt get the rope" Beyond commanded, pushing the blond towards the glass counter and the red head to the barrels. He as bossing them around like _he _was the boss. "Anyways I heard that the best place as of right now would be the new couple that moved into the mansion thats about 20 minutes from here. Apparently they had just inherited a large amount of gold, jewels, and some relics from a dead grandfather. The place isn't very heavily guarded, there's only two guards in front, and two dogs in the back. That means the easiest place to get in would be the second story window from 7:00 pm to 11:00 pm," Before Beyond could finish Misa pipped up

"Why the second story?"

"Well I was just getting there so shut up please," The raven said monotonously "The second story is the best because the wife is usually knitting in the nursery on the third floor, and the husband is always in the study working on god knows what. They don't have any pets in the house. They never have company on Tuesdays either so thats the best time. You can't go when they leave the house though because they hire a nanny for their new born and she patrols the mansion like a hawk," Beyond shuffled behind the counter and grabbed something from the bottom drawer and handed it to L "This is a detailed layout of the house, showing all the rooms, where the guards and the dogs are, where the wife and husband usually are, and where all the loot is, the second floor in the library. This couple keeps all there things in a large safe behind the third book shelf on the left side of the painting on the west side of the room." Beyond finished, holding out his hand for payment.

L dung into his pocket and pulled out a large bag of gold and tossed it a Beyond.

"Yes the gold for the gun and rope is in there too. Thank you Beyond have I good day," L stated and walked out the shop.

L noticed Beyond kept glancing at Light. He must know that Light's the Prince of Revnera. The bandit expected that much, after all, Beyond seemed to know everything.

"L! This gun is the best! Look at it!" Mello said holding it up to L's face like a child.

"Yeah well I have pretty damn good rope!" Matt chimed in, showing off the brown stringy rope.

"Yes Matt, praise the all mighty rope that you hold in your very hand! It is a god and must be treated as such!"

"You are not worthy!" Matt boomed "Now bow before the great mystical rope!" Mello complied and did a low but completely sarcastic bow.

"How is Matt going to use the rope?" Near asked, twirling his hair

"I'm going to tie up my victims of course!"

"Is that victim going to be Mello?"

"Perhaps!" Matt said, earning a punch in the arm from his blond friend

"Like maybe, tonight? When you two are all alone? Like last time we got new rope and you two skipped dinner?" Near enquired, a smirk daring to sneak onto his face. Mello and Matt's faces went about three shades of red as they sputtered, trying to figure out how Near knew that.

"What the hell you little sheep!" Mello yelled "I'm going to kill you!"

"There will be no killing Near, no matter what he says," L said, grabbing Mello's shoulder "Is it true though? Because if it is you two are going back for more rope," Mello groaned and shoved his face into his hands. Matt unsure of how to even react, decided to entertain himself to counting his cards.

Light chuckled at the boys antics. So the little shopping trip hadn't been that bad. All he did was walk, stand, then laugh a little. Not to bad. The prince rather enjoyed going out; at the castle, he was rarely allowed to leave, and even when he did, he was accompanied by two or more guards, so being out like this was really nice. The brunette could get used to going out with L and his friends.

** So not much yaoi there, but I'll shove some more for every couple I have going right now in next chapter(LxLight, MattxMello, MattxNear, MelloxNear) Please review and if you do I throw in more Beyond cause we love him so much with his little jar of jam ^-^**

**Also I'm taking requests if you want something in here that I don't have. THANKS REVIEW!**


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